The Scary Crab

Last night was one of those nights when I am convinced my children are plotting against me. As soon as I slipped into a deep sleep, one of them woke up. He cried for 15 minutes. He fell asleep. I slipped into a deep sleep again. Then she woke up. They just kept alternating.

As you can imagine, I was less than pleasant this morning. Josie and Owen each demanded something different for breakfast. Neither wanted to me to change their diapers. As soon as I walked out of the playroom to make a cup of coffee, one of them screamed. So I just started screaming back. For everything. I screamed at Josie for sitting in her brother's chair. I screamed at Owen for eating a goldfish he found under the couch. I screamed at both of them for not cleaning up the blocks fast enough. I was awful.

I needed to dress them in order to get Owen to the babysitter and Josie to her field trip on time. Neither wanted to come near me. I can't imagine why. I put on Dora hoping to calm us all down. It was the episode with this big crab that terrifies Josie. She started crying and wouldn't stop. This was all the proof she needed. I was the meanest mother in the world.

Somehow we got out the door and arrived everywhere we needed to be on time. The field trip was so-so. Josie was overly cautious around me, wondering what awful thing I was planning next. On the way back home, we picked up a coffee for mom and madeleine cookies, my peace offering, for the kids.

We played in the backyard before lunch. I didn't fold laundry or do dishes or make lunch. I stayed outside with them. I tossed the ball in the sky, drew animals with the chalk and ran around in circles until we were all dizzy.

Josie started to play pretend, which is her new favorite thing to do. Usually, she is Baby Christian and I am Auntie Monica. Today, she was Dora and Owen was Boots. "And who am I?" I asked as Dora and Boots jumped on the trampoline. She stopped jumping for a second, thought about it, and said, "the scary crab."