Happy Birthday, Sad Mom

I decided not to have a first birthday party for Emily for a variety of reasons.  I am not a big birthday party kind of person. Growing up with a July birthday, I just had the few friends that weren't on vacation over to my parent's for pizza and swimming.  Simple. But still a celebration.

Another reason for no party is that we are trying to save money for a house.  And its amazing how quickly a first year old's birthday party can become a car payment or two.  Less is more, I decided.

Finally, Emily had her laser treatment on Wednesday and her face looks a bit bruised and swollen for a week or so after treatment.  I just didn't want to have a party, with lots of people and lots of pictures, when my sweet Emily wasn't looking her best.  She looked beautiful of course.  But still not her best.

As I sit here at the end of my last baby's first birthday, I was wishing I had thrown a huge circus theme party, with clowns, elephants and giant trapeze.  Because the huge party would have distracted me from the sadness I couldn't shake all day.  My baby, my last baby, was turning one, which really meant she wasn't a baby any more.

My advice for busy moms with more than one child who are contemplating how to celebrate their last child's first birthday is to pull out all the stops.  Leave no corner undecorated.  Leave no treat unfrosted.  Leave no minute uncelebrated.  Because this day isn't just the end of your baby's first year but it's the end of you being a mom to a baby.  And diaper changes, late night feedings and spit-up stains aside, being a mom to a baby is definitely something to celebrate.  Especially on the last day you will ever get to be one.