Reigning Champion

A sea of goldfish filled the area between the couch and the coffee table.

"Who spilled these?" I asked looking at suspect A and suspect B.

"I did," said Josie, suspect B, with a look in her eyes that begged the question, and what are you going to do about it?

"You need to clean them up," I said.

"You need to clean them up, " She said in a tone that made me unsure whether she was copying me or disobeying me.

"Josie. You clean them up or you will have to go to your room for 5 minutes."

She walked around the goldfish contemplating her options.

"3 seconds," I said.

"No. I not doing it," She said.

"Let's go to your room then."

I "guided" her down the hall to her room and closed the door. She wailed for a few minutes. I opened the door. "Are you ready to come clean up the mess?" I asked.

"No!" She said and I closed the door.

"Are you ready now?" I asked a few minutes later.

"Yes." She said.

She walked down the hall, right to the sea of goldfish and made an all too familiar circle around the mess she had made.

"Josie," I screamed allowing my voice to reach a level of anger that neither of us were comfortable hearing. "Clean them up NOW!" I yelled. Owen jumped back. Josie didn't flinch. For a moment I thought my angry voice fell on the wrong ears as she sat there motionless. But then her mouth frowned at the corners, her eyes welled with tears, cascading down towards the sea of goldfish swimming around on the second-hand pottery barn rug.

"I want to go to my room," She said and ran down the hall, unprompted, unguided and closed her own door.

I listened to her wail for a few minutes. Even Owen was looking at me and shaking his head. I even thought I heard a "tsk tsk" as he picked up one of the goldfish and ate it. "I am a horrible mom," I said to him. "In case you haven't noticed, I really have no idea what I am doing." He nodded.

Am I that horrible I thought that my own daughter would rather banish herself to her room than listen to my attempts at parenting? I couldn't take it any more. I picked up all of the goldfish and placed them in a cup on the coffee table. I walked down the hall to put both Josie and I out of our misery.

I opened the door and found my distraught daughter wailing her head off...while reading a book. She looked up at me and waited for me to say something. Probably expecting an apology.

"Are you done crying?" I asked.

She nodded her head, grabbed her book and jumped down from the bed. She walked by me without saying a word. Owen and I followed my little Napoleon like good soldiers as she strutted down the hall and lead us back to the battle zone. Before she turned the corner into the living room she asked, "Did you clean up the goldfish yet?"

'It's not even a fair fight,'I thought as the reigning champion grabbed her cup of goldfish off the coffee table and sat on the couch to finish her show.