Losing It

"Mom, mom. You forgot my buckle!" Josie screamed from the back seat. Her voice sounded more irritated than surprised. I put the car in park, opened my door, opened her door, buckled her into her car seat and quickly got back in the drivers seat and floored it in reverse.

Normally it bothers me that my know-it-all daugther always has something to say. But I am starting to appreciate it.

The other day she told me that while we were walking down the street I had dropped my wallet. She ran back to pick it up. As she handed it me, I swore she mumbled, "Is this how its going to be for the rest of my life?"

I have never been good at keeping track of things. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person so you think I could figure out away to be less forgetful. But I think I am too lazy to get to the bottom of it.

In college, I worked with a woman who never lost anything. She was shocked at how often I misplaced my cell phone, dorm key or driver's license. One day I asked her, "How is it that YOU never lose anything?"

"When I am not using it, I put it back where it belongs." I felt like I was in a room talking to Buddha himself about how to reach enlightenment. Pure genius. But of course, I never took her advice to heart. I prefered putting things down in the closest possible place.

Now with two other people who have needs and things that I need to carry for them I am losing three times as much stuff. Receipts. Keys. Phones. Their shoes. My shoes. Anything that I seem to need in the moment was lost just a moment ago.

I have been told there is a place for everything and everything has its place. Right now I keep my children close and let everything else go by the wayside. Its just how I make it through.

In my therapy after cancer, I was asked the question if your house was burning down and you only had time to take 5 things what would they be. I thought for a while and answered 'nothing.' And I truly meant it. Things just aren't important to me. And maybe thats why I have such a hard time holding on to them.