Purse Snatcher

My sister stole my purse. Technically it wasn't my purse yet. My mom bought it for her trip to the Holy Land next month. I told my mom that after the trip, I would take it off her hands. She was thrilled. My mom doesn't like to waste time or money on herself. There is too much to do for everyone else.

I found out about the backstabbing theft when my sister called to say that she really liked my mom's new purse. "You mean my new purse," I said knowing right where this was going.

"I don't think so," she said, admiring herself in the mirror with the brown purse slung over one arm. I knew possession was nine-tenths of the law, but I was going down fighting.

"It's my purse. If I have to, I will drive down tonight and take it while everyone is sleeping."

"Sure," she said not listening. She was thinking of all the outfits she had that would go with the purse. "It's just such a great size."

"Yes. The perfet size," I said. At this point, I barely remembered what the purse looked like. But as far as we were both concerned, it was the only purse in the world.

A few hours later I got a text. "Tough..it's been settled in the south. Mom says there is another one in the north. Get off the couch and go get it. Wire transfer to reimburse you is on its way."

I immediately called my mom's house. I didn't care that it was 10:30pm and there was a chance my parents were sleeping while my sister was sending threatening texts from our old bedroom.

My sister answered the phone, "You have reached TJ Maxx. We are currently closed. We open tomorrow at 9am. If you are looking for the brown purse, unfortunately we are out of stock." Carrie is the worst kind of adversary. An experienced lawyer and a great actress. I had to laugh but tried to keep my voice steady while I presented my next line of defense.

"You can have it," I said, appealing to her snobbish good tastes, "because it will probably smell bad from all the traveling."

"That's the best part," she squealed like a mom whose daugther just won Little Miss Texas, "She isn't taking it. It doesn't have a zipper. Not safe. If you were smart, you would have told her not to buy if for the trip."

"Smart? I got her to buy it for me. That's very smart."

My sister and I both slept soundly that night knowing the purse was ours.

The next day my sister emailed me a picture of my mom at TJ Maxx with the same purse in green.

I responded, "Green is not really my color."

Carrie responded, "That's what we thought. We didn't buy it for you."

I responded, "That's good because I already have a brown one."

"Nice try," Carrie wrote back.

I finally got a hold of my mom this afternoon and reminded the champion of honesty and integrity that she promised the purse to me. "It's yours," she said in a matter of fact tone that made me realize it was never up for debate. The fight was over. And so was the fun. Maybe I will give Carrie the purse for her birthday.