Happy Day to Me

The day of Josie and Owen's 1st and 2nd birthday party was a momentous day. And not just because we were celebrating the births of my beautiful babies, but because I walked around all day with this really weird feeling. I couldn't figure out what it was.

I went to the medicine cabinet to see if I had accidentally taken a claritin instead of my daily thyroid pill. I rummaged through the trash to see if I had accidentally ordered a Quad Venti Latte. Nope. Just a Single Tall.

Hmmm, I sat for a minute to think of what was going on with me. As I contemplated, Josie ran by me giggling with her friend Keira and Giana following closely. Norm sat down next to me to feed Owen. My mom and sister were restocking the buffet. And the feeling I was worried about overwhelmed me. 'What is WRONG?' I thought.

And then it hit me. I am happy. Absolutely, completely, over the top happy. I am happy and I finally have a minute to feel it, enjoy it and recognize it.

I had been so busy taking care of everything and everyone that simple emotions like happiness went by the wayside. Anger, irritation, sadness - those always found a way to make themselves known to me and especially to Norm. But happiness was patiently waiting for its moment to shine. And it couldn't have picked a better day.

Since their birthdays I try to make a point of recognizing happy feelings and happy moments. They still feel like an adrenaline rush. Strange and foreign to my overtired body and my overwhelmed emotions. Strange and foreign because I have never been this happy before.