The Chicken Story

I was in the kitchen washing the dishes. Norm was in San Jose at a hockey game. Josie and Owen were each sitting quietly in their monogrammed chairs from pottery barn watching Curious George.

"What's that noise?" Josie yelled and came running into the kitchen. "I scared of that noise."

I put down the glass I was washing, left the water running and went to check out this mysterious noise. Josie doesn't get up from Curious George unless its something alarming.

I looked out the front door for someone who might have been knocking. No one. I walked into the living room and looked out the window. Of course, I thought. The chicken.

"Oh, that's just our neighbors chicken," I told her, hit by a wave of shock that those words even came out of my mouth.

"Haley's chicken?" she asked.

"Yes, she is going for a walk." I said. Owen, Josie and I sat at the couch and stared out the window as the chicken roamed around our front yard. I looked around for Haley, Mikey or Janelle to see if they at least knew she was out and were trying to catch her. No one.

The chicken started walking towards the street. Cars were whizzing by, some even slowed down in shock over seeing a chicken on the side of the road. I started to feel a little bad.

I went into the kitchen, turned off the water and grabbed my cell phone off the counter.

"Hi, this is Jennifer Dunne," I said to the neighbor's answering machine. "I think your chicken is out and is crossing the street." I probably should have made a funny joke at this point, but I was too irritated that my life had come to this.

I hung up the phone and felt better that I had at least tried to save the chicken from the speeding cars and lurking cats. Josie and Owen were starting to get tired of watching the chicken. We all turned around on the couch and watched the rest of Curious George.

A few minutes later, I heard repeated thuds against the side of the house followed by the numerous clucks that sounded way too close for comfort. It scared all of us.

"Chicken's coming in the house!" Josie screamed and jumped in my lap.

"Dicken Duming!" Owen screamed and jumped on both our laps.

"It's not coming in the house," I said probably sounded less certain than I should have.

The chicken kept making loud, frightening noises. Both Josie and Owen were crying. If Norm had been there, I would probably have been crying. But I was the only adult, so unfortunately, I had to do something.

I put Owen to bed because it was his bedtime and I needed one less baby to deal with - myself included.

I called my neighbor's cell phone. She answered. I told her that I already left one message and their chicken was in our yard. She told me they didn't want the chicken any more. I told her that I didn't want it either but it wouldn't leave our front yard. She said she would send her son Mikey over to scare it away.

A minute later I heard a knock on my window.

"Mrs. Dunne?" I heard Mikey's muffled voice say through our double pane windows. "The chicken is in your stroller."

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed. I threw Josie on the couch and opened the front door.

I peaked my head out the door and yelled, "Can you get it out?" feeling no shame that I was relying on a 10 year old boy to take care of me.

I heard a smack, a chicken clucking like crazy and wings flapping as it tried to get away. I stuck my head around the corner and saw Mikey chasing the chicken down the street.

I ran outside, grabbed the stroller and pushed it as fast as I could run through the front door.

Josie who was now standing the doorway saw me coming with the stroller and bolted down the hallway.

"No CHICKEN! No CHICKEN!" she screamed as she ran into the bedroom and closed the door.

I closed our front door and ran down the hall after her. I found her in her bed, covers pulled up to her nose.

"The chicken is gone," I said. "Mikey chased it far away and its never coming back." I said for both her sake and mine.