Watch Lists

My new pet peeve is when older children hang out at the park. I used to define older children as over 12. They hog the swing. They swing dangerously high and jump off at the peak, a move Josie watches with sheer joy in her eyes. They are loud. They sometimes cuss. They are clearly unimaginative - after all a park playground is the coolest place they could think to go.

Today I was somewhat relieved that the oldest person at the park was a 7 year old boy. He was playing with a younger girl. She looked around 5. They weren't related but you could tell they were friends. Their mothers chatted away at a near-by bench. I eyed them with jealousy as I ran around the park after two toddlers who never want to be in the same place at the same time.

I quickly learned the 7 year old boys name was Matthew. I learned it because Matthew was stomping on Taylor's fingers as she tried to pull herself up on the play structure. Matthew's mom looked up for a second and screamed, "Matthew get off of Taylor's fingers or we are going home," and continued on with her relaxing chat.

Josie was starting to take notice of Matthew. She wandered over and tried to crawl up the rock wall like she had done many times before. Matthew walked across the bridge and stood above her waiting. I watched intently. I didn't even care where Owen was at this point. This boys feet were not going to get anywhere near my daugthers perfect fingers.

Having already been told not to stomp on fingers, Matthew decided to get creative. He grabbed the chain link that was hanging on the rock wall for extra assistance and started swinging it.

"Hey Matthew." I said making him immediately aware that I already knew more about him than I wanted. "You need to stop now."

He looked me in the eyes and swung the chain harder. I looked back at his chatty mom. No help there. "Seriously. Stop it now. She's just a baby."

Fortunately, Taylor screamed for Matthew to come push her down the slide. He looked me in the eye again and gave the chain another big shake. Fortunately I grabbed Josie off before the chain came back and whipped her in the face.

This boy was pure evil, I thought as I looked around the playground for Owen and fortunately found him a few feet away. He was watching the whole time. I was hoping he had a photographic memory and would one day find Matthew on a school yard and kick his ass.

"Taylor, move your big butt." Matthew screamed.

"Big butt," Josie said as she giggled going down the slide. Nice, I thought.

"No, you move your stinky peepee," Taylor screamed back. Oh, they were a Bonnie and Clyde in the making.

"Do you want to see my pee pee?" Matthew asked.

"No way," Taylor squealed.

"Really, I want to show you," Matthew said and he grabbed Taylor's hand and pulled her down the stairs of the play structure.

Josie, Owen and I all watched as Taylor and Matthew went behind a bush at the edge of the playground. A few seconds later Taylor jumped from behind the push pointing and laughing. Their chatty moms finally took notice.

"Not again, Matthew. Are your pants down?" His mom screamed. "We are leaving now!"

A few seconds later, Matthew ran from behind the bush with his pants zipped up and his head down. From a distance he looked embarrassed and almost remorseful. But he flashed me a smile as he walked passed me.

I watched Matthew and his mom walk away. I wondered if the government had some sort of watch list for 7 year old boys who are mean to two year old girls and take their friends behind a bush to show off their pee pees. If there isn't, then I am going to start one. And one for their chatty moms too.