My Mother's Conversion

While mother is traveling, I have loved getting her emails. I feel like I am on a spiritual journey of own. I am traveling down a a glorious path and discovering through each of my mother's faith-filled emails just who in the hell she really is.

Today she wrote, "We returned today from three days on the Sea of Galilee. It was an amazing and very spiritual time." I don't think I have ever heard my mom use the word amazing to describe anything she has ever done. She is a harsh critic of all things, especially herself. Its not that she doesn't appreciate everyone and everything but she feels strongly that achieving the best is always within reach.

Anyone who has ever been to a wedding planned by Tina or a sat in the living room on Christmas morning in matching pajamas knows what I am talking about. I can't describe the joy I felt in knowing that my mom was doing something that she qualified as amazing. By everyone else's standards its like winning the lottery - twice - in the same week.

The email continued to say, "Of course, we are praying for each and everyone of you each day." I sat back and wondered what she was praying about for me. And it was like the voice of my mother came to me like the voice of the Holy Spirit came to Jesus and his disciples. A great wind blew through the house and a vision of my mother kneeling down by the Sea of Galilee appeared on my flat screen TV. I turned the volume up and I could hear my mother's soft voice in prayer.

"Dear God, please help my daugther Jennie to pull her head out of her ass. Please help her to appreciate her husband for the beautiful house that he has provided for her and her amazing children. Please help her to stop bitching about Morgan Hill and think of all the people living in places of real poverty. And finally, Lord, please give my youngest daughter the courage to stop calling me every 5 minutes. Let her know that she has the knowledge within her to solve all her own problems and that I really don't give a damn what kind of toilet paper she buys. Amen."

The part of her email that really blew my spiritual mind was the closing, "Love to all, hugs and kisses...." The mother I have known has never ended an email, letter or birthday card when I'm away at summer camp with "hugs and kisses." One time in college I gave her a hard time for sending a package without a note inside. From then on everything she sends me is accompanied with a tiny yellow post-it note that says, "A note - Love, Mom" She is nothing if not efficient. She knows that we all know how much she loves us. She doesn't have to waste time writing long notes filled with mushy compliments about the amazing adults we have become. Wasting time is my dad's department.

But now that my mom is on a trip thousands of miles away, she finally has time to take off her critical cap and enjoy the experience. She can focus on praying for us silently but not have to be the one who figures out what we should do. And in the serentiy of the Sea of Galilee she has even has found a little time to be mushy.

There is one thing about my mother that hasn't changed and will never change,no matter how far she travels. Whatever she does, she gives it everything she has. And I am relieved that she is finally giving it back to herself.