Desperate Times

I had a great interview today. The woman and I got along really well, and I really think she wanted me for the job. What went wrong you ask? Well the downward spiral began as she explained the most critical component of the job involved going to people's homes and analyzing piles of shrubs and coordinating with a contractor to turn the piles into mulch. It also involved volunteer coordination, marketing the program, grant writing, event coordination, and most importantly, fire safety. But all I kept hearing was the word piles.

When I sat down for the interview the woman said, "I am not even going to ask you why you are here because I know why you are here. You're a mom who wants flexible hours." The job pays $35/hour and is 10 hours a week that I can do entirely from home. Except for the pile examination part. And in case my children ever wonder just how much I love them, I tried really, really hard to convince myself that examining piles was meaningful work.

My entire life my parents instilled in me the belief that I can do anything. And not only did they give me the belief but every tool imaginable to make the dream a reality. You want to learn Spanish, Jennie? Well then lets send you to a remote city in Minnesota where you will spend 3 weeks completely immersed in the Spanish language and play cultural games and learn campfire songs in Spanish and eat food from every country in the world that speaks Spanish. You like soccer, Jennie? Well then lets send you to the top soccer camp in the country that involves waking up at 5am every morning for soccerobics. You want to work at the Lance Armstrong Foundation but they won't pay for you to move to Austin or pay you enough to eat on a regular basis? Well we'll supplement your income so you can have the experience of a lifetime.

If you break it all down, it's all my parents' fault that I can't consider a job that involves examining piles. They made my life too interesting. They gave me too many opportunities and too much confidence in myself. They made me focus on only seeking out meaningful experiences and that anything less was a waste of my time. They created a world in which I don't have to do anything out of desperation because desperate times don't call for desperate measures. Desperate times call Ted and Tina.